“I just really value your opinion you know, and I want to make the right decision… What do you think I should do?”
We’re on the beach and my son is playing in the sand by my feet. Next to me is this intelligent, highly qualified, leader of a woman.
This smart woman who already knows the answer to her question.
This intelligent, self reflective woman, who knows that she knows the answer.
Yet here she is, asking me about her life. About what’s best for her.
When she knows it.
This gorgeous woman who continues to hide her constant second guessing of herself under “needing professional advice”.
I call bullshit.
She didn’t need my advice. She didn’t want it either. She wanted my approval. She wanted an authority figure’s approval.
A nod from someone a bit more adultier and more professional in her eyes.
That pat on the back from the boss to say, “yup! Good job”.
And in that moment, I was her boss figure. I knew it. She knew it.
As I stared to the sea, not responding, I realised that the only thing to do would be to look at her – because we both knew that she knew the answer. Really, the real question was wtf are you doing asking me the question. And in that same moment, she discovered why she’d failed up until that point to attain the heights of success that she desired.
She always put the ball in someone else’s court.
She always needed someone else’s approval on her decisions before she could move forward.
Sound familiar? Do you do this shit?
When there was a crucial decision to make about her life, business, and other general decisions about progression, she always sought “expert” advice, and then did whatever the adultiest person said to do. Even if her gut told her otherwise.
There’s a difference between advice and commands
Listen, I am here to call bullshit on your false premises.
I am here to help you drop all the baggage you don’t need so that you can fly. This is a community that believes that you can have everything you want. All of it. No compromise. BUT, this ain’t no dictatorship, and I am not God.
The person in control of your life is YOU.
NOT your mentor
NOT your best friend
NOT your favourite author
NOT your family
NOT your professor
NOT your boss
NOT even your pets.
YOU are in control of your life, and all of your life choices.
The ball is and will always be in your court.
That is an AMAZING gift to not be given away to someone who can’t live your life!!
STOP WAITING FOR APPROVAL
There is no approval you can receive higher than your own when it comes to choices about your life.
Let me tell all of you this now: There are indeed times when professional advice is brilliant and necessary. But please note, that advice is just ADVICE. It is still up to you to make a decision.
And that decision rests in your very capable hands.
You are capable.
You are MORE than capable.
You are THE foremost expert on your life!
OWN IT. SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF. BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND AND SUPPORT YOURSELF.
It doesn’t matter if it “goes wrong” after you take action. It could’ve gone wrong if you followed someone else’s advice too. The difference is, you would be continuously copping out if you put the blame on them if/when it didn’t work out. It would always be someone else’s fault because you followed their bad advice.
It’s a bit different when you follow you own advice and then it flops.
You can’t cop out. All you can do is celebrate that you learnt something new and then move the hell on!
There is nothing to fear.
You don’t need my advice. You just need to trust yourself more often.
Now adjust your spirit, give yourself a much needed pat on the back, and keep it moving!
Have you ever kept deferring decisions until someone else told you what to do? Let me know when you stopped doing that shit in the comments!
Know someone who needs to hear this message : share it with em! They’ll thank you for it ❤️
Screw status quo. Have your cake AND eat it too.
Till next time guys
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